“Do you not think I have just cause to weep, when I consider that Alexander at my age had conquered so many nations, and I have all this time done nothing that is memorable?” - Julius Caesar (100-44 B.C.) Remark to his friends who, during a military campaign in Spain, were surprised to see him burst into tears after reading about Alexander's exploits. In Plutarch (A.D. 46?-119?), “Caesar”, Parallel Lives, Dryden edition, 1693

We have a tendency to always be comparing ourselves to others. We see or hear of someone more successful than us, younger than us, happier than us, and we think of how sad our life is. If we are satisfied with our life and what we have achieved, then we can still look at what someone else has achieved and think that we could have done even better. If we are not satisfied with what we have achieved in life than our reaction is much worse – we feel sick to our stomach and the degree to which we have been a failure. Someone else telling us that it is ok, that we are still young and that our day will come, feels like a panacea. We have to believe them, because to do otherwise is to fall into despair. Of course we know, of course we say, that we should not look upon those others with too much envy. We are not less than them, nor have we achieved less. Perhaps We are still growing, still becoming ready for what we may achieve. There are worlds enough and time for all that a man may wish to do, and there are worlds enough and time yet for us to achieve what we will. We know all this, live with all this, and yet – we feel the goad, the prick, of an uneven humanity.

We fear that we are too equal to all that we may wish, and that we cannot do all that we think we can. In dark times at night, in daytime among our small concerns, we stress and worry about all that we may fail to do. This push, this pin in our backside, pushes us forward. We try, too much too soon, to equal the achievements of others. This way leads to ruin – what is important is not the fastest time, but the best time. It's not about the race but about the victory, for the victory is what will be remembered, the victory is what you can look back upon. Its not about the victory, it's about the race, not the speed of the race but the running of it. We can always look back and see our failures, but we rarely look back and see the failures of others. Alexander failed, for all that he won – The achievements of Caesar were just as great, and longer-lasting. Both will be remembered, but Alexander is remembered for the promise he failed to live up to, while Caesar is recalled because of what he did achieve. Both were struck down at the end of their lives, one by illness and another by treachery. Stuck down at different times in their lives, one in the throes of a fading youth, and another at the beginning of an old age. If Alexander had lived to a hundred, and Caesar had died at thirty, then the world would be very different. I wonder what Alexander would have achieved, or failed to achieve if he had the time that Caesar had?

We never know how much time we have, to achieve something memorable. Memorable for whom tough? If for others, then we shall never know what we have done. It may be that some small deed barely thought of is remembered by a family in times gone by, or that some newspaper clip of a schoolboy triumph may someday take pride of place in a museum a thousand centuries from now. What we achieve for the future may or may not be remembered – there were other emperors besides Caesar, and other conquerors besides Alexander, many of whom even the most ardent scholar could not name today. Time fades and names pass – If Caesar wept at the exploits of Alexander, that does not mean that a man five hundred years from now will not weep at the exploits of Caesar. If we are to care for our achievements worthy of remembrance for ourselves for us living, then what we care for are not our achievements, but our memories. The important things we have done – and what do we care who remembers them, if not those who we care for, and ourselves? In other words – Will you weep at your achievements of yesterday, today, or will you soldier on?  

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